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Original Situation:

After graduating, I’ve held two jobs so far. In both roles, I consistently performed at a high level and received positive feedback throughout. Recently, I interviewed for a new opportunity, and it went well. As part of the process, the company requested two professional references.

I contacted two former managers—one from each of my previous jobs—who had both given me positive feedback in the past. In fact, one of them had already provided a successful reference that helped me land my second job. When I asked if they could provide strong references again, both agreed.

After I submitted their contact information, the company sent them reference forms. Soon after the forms were submitted, I was invited to a follow-up interview where I was asked some unexpected and concerning questions. Upon further reflection, I realized that both references had provided incorrect dates, inaccurate details about my work, and even made negative remarks about me.

I later reached out to one of them to understand what happened. His response was dismissive—he simply said he had held many jobs and might have "missed something." He didn’t show any regret, despite knowing how much damage his reference may have caused.

To make matters worse, both of these individuals have since been fired from the companies where I worked under them.

My Questions: Is there any way I recover from their bad references for this job?

Is there any way for me to find out exactly what my references wrote or said?

Can I contact my former employers (HR or another manager) to request a formal reference letter instead?

How should I handle reference checks going forward, considering that these two managers have now damaged my credibility despite previously being supportive?

What steps can I take to recover from this situation and protect my reputation in future job applications?

Additional Context:

I’m in the early stages of my career, so professional references are especially important to me.

I feel incredibly discouraged that people I trusted could negatively impact my future, especially after they gave me positive feedback during and after my time working with them.

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    I'm not seeing a question here. Other than not using these two as references if you don't like what they said, it is unlikely that there is a lot for you to do. Commented Aug 31 at 22:19
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    @simpson - We can edit questions for readability, grammar etc. but we can't edit a question into something the asker did not ask (you) - I get you are feeling raw about it - but if you want our help you need to think what it is you want us to do. There are some potentially good question(s) here depending on where you go with it. It is not for us to put words in your mouth. Commented Aug 31 at 22:50
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    Not an answer since it doesn't help you: this is one of the reasons other countries give a written reference letter when you leave the company. It cannot be changed or misremembered or someone can get bitter or forget or not have access to records anymore or simply die. I have never really understood how this "person will give oral report decades later" system works. It seems it doesn't. Commented Sep 1 at 5:29
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    This is also why most US companies have stopped writing reference letters. They will verify dates of employment, and possibly dates at which you held various titles, but they will explicitly not discuss whether you were good bad or indifferent in those roles. There is no advantage to them in doing so, and possible disadvantage if you feel you have been misrepresented. If you ask people to serve as more detailed references, it is your responsibility to find people who you think will say positive things about you, which means not pressuring people if they don't actually want to do this. Commented Sep 1 at 6:13
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    Are you absolutely sure that your version of events is correct? While I can imagine one manager getting dates and job description wrong, or writing a bad review out of spite, the chances that two have done it are extremely small. Commented Sep 1 at 13:57

2 Answers 2

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References are multi-edged swords, unfortunately. While they theoretically are well-intended, they are quite often abused - as you already noticed.

  1. You cannot modify the past. Just be cool about it - as much as you humanly can.

  2. Trying to get out of similar situations. Now, that you have this experience, you are better prepared for future job interviews. When you will be requested to bring references, you can truthfully say something like: "I would prefer to be tested to prove my worth. I have past experience when former managers wrote untruthful things about me, damaging my potential relationship with my potential new employer."

  3. Alternative route, possibly not available to you anymore (you might try it though). Ask a few former colleagues and managers to write some recommendation letters for you. Generic letters. "To whom it may concern". if what is written is beneficial for you, use them, if not, decide for yourself. Be aware, that even if they write now something nice, they might turn it around later. "I wrote that letter in that way to not hurt his ego, but in reality..." You get the point.

  4. Your best bet. Build as fast as possible such a strong CV, that potential employers will not feel the need to ask for references.

And ultimately, sell yourself like there is no tomorrow. Speak competently and confidently. Do not allow any of their questions take you by surprise. Ask questions yourself. Why did you leave your last job? Why did your last employee leave? Internet is your best friend, to prepare for interviews. Do not wait wait until the interview to prepare. Be prepared all the time everywhere. You will never know when and where opportunities will jump at you.

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  • Is anyway I can get the written thing that references wrote? so I know exactly how to deal with these people. Commented Sep 3 at 1:56
  • @simpson: If nobody wants to share that text with you in any form willingly, then you can get it only by some kind of violence - which I advise against, of course. What happened, happened. Learn from it and move on.Be better prepared for the future. Life is ultimately a series of lessons. Whether we learn from them, or not, the lessons will keep coming. Commented Sep 3 at 4:29
  • I was thinking of writing a kind email to the employer and asking them to share information that my reference provided. I understand that they ruined my opportunity, but I was thinking to know what they wrote so I can plan my career accordingly. Since I lost my confidence for these two. Do you have any kind approaching email template that I can use to request them? I do not want to fight but knowing what they wrote would help me. Commented Sep 3 at 16:56
  • @simpson: You might have a better chance of success if you talk to them personally. Maybe even not give you a copy, but allow you to read it on the screen of their laptops. In that way, they can tell the truth, that they did not forward the document to you. Of course, you can organize the meeting b e-mail, or even make the request by e-mail. There is no specific template. just ask them kindly to allow you to know the exact content of the reference letter. Commented Sep 4 at 4:28
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Usage, laws and process around references varies a lot by country so this is a mostly US centric answer.

How should I handle reference checks going forward, considering that these two managers have now damaged my credibility despite previously being supportive?

By doing your homework properly.

Why did you assume that a manager at a previous company remembers all your employment details and achievements especially if they have no longer access to the company's employment records? Asking for a reference is asking your former manager to do a non trivial amount of work and remembering things that may have long faded into the background against the day to days demands of their current role.

The best way to go about this is to write the reference yourself. Put in all your details (which you have, but the manager might not), cover your main roles, tasks and achievements and make sure it fits your current career goals and needs. The only thing you should leave out is the quality assessment. Send that to the manager and ask them nicely to put this in the reference with their own edits as they see fit.

This minimizes the work for the manager (making them more amenable to your request), it ensures accuracy of the data and you can tailor the content to your specific immediate job needs.

I’m in the early stages of my career, so professional references are especially important to me.

Then you should give them proper attention and put a commensurate amount of work and effort into it. Why would you expect your former manager to do all the work that you are not willing to do.

I feel incredibly discouraged that people I trusted could negatively impact my future, especially after they gave me positive feedback during and after my time working with them.

I think you misunderstand what happened here. I doubt this was malicious. You asked for a reference but gave the managers very little or nothing to work with. It was a sloppy request and you got a sloppy response. Your future is YOUR responsibility and if you need help you should be very clear and specific of what exactly you need and provide as much data and support as possible.

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  • Hi, I provided them with my cv and description of my achievements and project that I worked, the reference letter was a questioner and they tried to give doubtful answers. For example they mentioned that I do not have customer service experience while I had interactions with customers, also mentioning wrong dates, one saying I am not good communicator !!. These are nothing that I can fix with them over writing. The same people gave a good references for a contractor job that I got 3 years ago, how their review of me got bad? They are nothing but a few jealous people that wanted to ruin it Commented Sep 1 at 22:26
  • @simpson If you have had more recent employment, then you should use someone from your most recent job as a reference, rather than someone from years and years ago. Commented Sep 2 at 3:28
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    @Hilmar: You are quite on the wrong page with the good intentions of the managers. I had the sad experience that my direct managers "remembered" the very wrong information about me while actually managing me, not xyz years after. Just saying. And surfing the internet a little, you will easily see that I am not an unexpected exception, Commented Sep 2 at 4:23
  • @Hilmar: On the other hand, preparing a draft of the reference text is a nice idea. Commented Sep 2 at 4:24

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